Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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