I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I need water and some morals
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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