We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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