what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize