i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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