when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
We have started to decorate penises.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
