M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
even my farts smell like vagina
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
