Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Randomize
