Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Randomize
