On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
