I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
