Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
