addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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