I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
