She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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