Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
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