I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
