so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
