If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
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