Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
