I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
