You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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