He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
