Are we in a gay sports bar?
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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