He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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