Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Randomize
