I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
