Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
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