To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Randomize