Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
