I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
