and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Randomize
