I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
