im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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