You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Randomize
