then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
