I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
