i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Randomize
