Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Randomize
