I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
