I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize
