but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
