He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize