pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
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