kristin has been a bad kristin
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize