Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I'm bleeding and have questions
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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