im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
