Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
