It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
did i walk over a car last night?
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
