the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
