My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
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