Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
