ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Randomize
