Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Holy shit dude........stairs
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
